WHERENESS

 

I had never considered it that way --

the simple state of being in a particular time

and place -- until you let the word fall,

suspended between us, both strange and familiar.

Where else could one be?, I wondered.

You loved words that way, trying out the new,

settling on favorite phrases, turning them,

chewing on their shapes and sounds, following

their threads wherever they might lead.

Now, all those years having gone wherever

the years go, I can only be grateful that

my whereness and yours found each other,

however briefly, breathed the same air,

shared the same silences, laughed at the same

absurdities you couldn't help but challenge.

You demanded much but expected little,

your lack of faith in others a religion unto itself,

yet never questioning where we belonged,

and never doubting that we would live forever.

MATHEMATICS

 

My scalp prickled with tiny beads of anxiety.
Everyone had left school but me and Mr. Heaney,
who hovered like an unwelcome shadow, occasionally
rising from the fortress of his desk,
hands clasped behind his back,
gray New Balance sneakers
all but silent in their slow, deliberate steps.
The blackboard had been wiped clean of equations,
dark and certain as the night sky,
with only
a few ghostly wisps of that other world showing through.
I was trying and failing, trying and failing to master
long division and algebra, the worksheet paper
worn nearly to nothing from my endless revisions.
The universe, he liked to remind us, is made of numbers.
You must know this if you are to know anything.
I did not doubt this, though it was a language
the Creator had clearly chosen to keep from me.
I labored on as the afternoon light gradually shifted,
the blank face of the clock counting out its lengthening
seconds, each with a small sense of finality.
I could imagine the invisible threads connecting
all things, like the elaborate webs of spiders,
glistening, though I gave them neither name nor meaning.
I could hear the voices of what sounded like summer
outside the window, voices rising and falling,
could almost make out the words that elicited their sudden laughter, though it all seemed, in those
strictly measured moments, to be light years away.